You are a “cracker” if… You’ve ever said “I’ll just fix it myself” and turned a 10-minute job into a 3-day saga Your idea of seasoning is salt… and maybe pepper if you’re feeling adventurous You still have a drawer full of random cables “just in case” You clap when the plane lands You call tech support before checking if it’s plugged in You’ve got at least one chair that’s just a pile of clothes now You say “back in my day” and then realize… yeah, you’re getting older
Uncle Bob's would like to apologize to the following people or groups of people who we undoubtedly have offended over the course of the past few years. If you feel you have been personally offended then take this apology to be specifically for you. Otherwise, we apologize to Jewish Mexicans, President Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm a.k.a. Hopey McChangey, Catholic Priests who dork little boys, vegetarians, Fruit Loop, Atkins' Diet adherents and other fat-asses, Dennis J. Olson, Delta Lady, Joe and his Socks, paranoid persona's, space aliens, Illegal Aliens, Boy Scouts, same sex aficionados, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Canadians, ditch diggers, people who support the aforementioned, people on Prozac, Mel Gibson, Nazi Mods, Tiger Woods, motorcycle gang members, rag heads or towel heads or any other Middle Eastern personas or personae, Crotch Bombers, Britney Spears, the blind, the entire Gay and Lesbian community, Charlie Sheen, Black Panthers, NAACP, and anybody who has ever been called Lard Ass.