Every TV and radio in America will cut to an emergency alert on Nov. 17 as governments across the West tell their people to stock up and prepare FEMA and the FCC have the nationwide Emergency Alert System test set for 2:20 p.m. ET on Nov. 17, with Dec. 3 as backup; it hits broadcasts only, not phones, and it’s the check federal law requires every few years.
What’s different is everything around it.
Britain launched a campaign on Oct. 22 telling 68 million people to keep three days of water, no-cook food and cash at home, with its defence secretary naming cyberattacks and state-sponsored threats; Germany is advising ten days; the EU has its 72-hour kit; and Washington has told the Gulf to brace for Iranian retaliation on energy and infrastructure after the midterms.
Uncle Bob's would like to apologize to the following people or groups of people who we undoubtedly have offended over the course of the past few years. If you feel you have been personally offended then take this apology to be specifically for you. Otherwise, we apologize to Jewish Mexicans, President Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm a.k.a. Hopey McChangey, Catholic Priests who dork little boys, vegetarians, Fruit Loop, Atkins' Diet adherents and other fat-asses, Dennis J. Olson, Delta Lady, Joe and his Socks, paranoid persona's, space aliens, Illegal Aliens, Boy Scouts, same sex aficionados, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Canadians, ditch diggers, people who support the aforementioned, people on Prozac, Mel Gibson, Nazi Mods, Tiger Woods, motorcycle gang members, rag heads or towel heads or any other Middle Eastern personas or personae, Crotch Bombers, Britney Spears, the blind, the entire Gay and Lesbian community, Charlie Sheen, Black Panthers, NAACP, and anybody who has ever been called Lard Ass.
