WASHINGTON—The White House’s budget office directed federal agencies to draw up plans to permanently reduce their workforces if there is a government shutdown next week, raising the specter of mass firings on top of the customary furloughs during a lapse in funding.
The new memo sent by Office of Management and Budget Director Russ Vought sharply raises the stakes for funding talks and increases the pressure on Senate Democrats, who are demanding that Republicans restore hundreds of billions of dollars in healthcare spending as a condition of their support for keeping the government funded.
Uncle Bob's would like to apologize to the following people or groups of people who we undoubtedly have offended over the course of the past few years. If you feel you have been personally offended then take this apology to be specifically for you. Otherwise, we apologize to Jewish Mexicans, President Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm a.k.a. Hopey McChangey, Catholic Priests who dork little boys, vegetarians, Fruit Loop, Atkins' Diet adherents and other fat-asses, Dennis J. Olson, Delta Lady, Joe and his Socks, paranoid persona's, space aliens, Illegal Aliens, Boy Scouts, same sex aficionados, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Canadians, ditch diggers, people who support the aforementioned, people on Prozac, Mel Gibson, Nazi Mods, Tiger Woods, motorcycle gang members, rag heads or towel heads or any other Middle Eastern personas or personae, Crotch Bombers, Britney Spears, the blind, the entire Gay and Lesbian community, Charlie Sheen, Black Panthers, NAACP, and anybody who has ever been called Lard Ass.
