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I watched it again. A different (ok) one popped up this time. It's U-toob doing it. Those pervs.

Chris, I grew up in a show/breeding kennel. I had to watch poodle pron before there was the internets. As a child!

And OMG the cows & sheeps did that too! Nobody would splain that stuff to me. It just didn't make any sense. I didn't even believe the totally absurd explanation about humans that my sister told me when I was 17. I mean... srsly? You made that shit up. Confused


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"LIVE! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!" Auntie Mame

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I never asked for trust funds. They were thrust upon me. Have pity.

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Posts: 3120 | Registered: August 21, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Friday night story time - I wrote this a while back. It's a true story. Wink

Chop Chop and the lazy ram

We had a friend nicknamed Chop Chop. He grew up in the city and he knew nothing about livestock. He stopped by to visit one day, just as we were headed out to pick up a ram for that season's breeding. He jumped at the chance to ride along. When we arrived back at our ranch, all the ewes were at the barn waiting for their evening grain. As we backed the stock trailer up to the gate, they surrounded it en masse. They could smell the ram. They were all in estrus and ready to rumble.

Our friend watched anxiously, ecstatic to actually see sheep doing the deed. He was cheering the ram on as we opened the trailer gate to set him loose. Chop Chop sounded like a cheerleader at a football game. He was stoked.

The ram pushed his way through the ewes, sniffing each woolly derriere as he took inventory. After 2-3 minutes, which obviously seemed like an eternity to our friend, Chop Chop became frustrated that the ram hadn't jumped the first ewe and gotten right down to business.

Suddenly the ram jumped onto the back of a ewe for 4-5 seconds, then dropped off. Then another. And another. At this point our friend was in a state of total disappointment. He had looked forward to this moment all day. He began to chide the ram, yelling at him to GET IT ON!

We busted out laughing, doubled over, unable to catch our breath from the hilarity of our friend's reaction. He turned to us and yelled WHAT!!? WHAT!!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE RAM?

Once we regained our composure, we explained to him that the ram WAS breeding the ewes; that it only took 5 seconds to accomplish the task.

His response was: 5 seconds? That's it? That sucks. I'm glad I'm not a ram!

Our response: Yep. 5 seconds... a hundred times a day.

When he heard that, he jumped and started cheering again and yelled: YES!!! 5 seconds a hundred times a day! I could do that! All was right in his world and he went home with a grin on his face.

The End


>>>

"LIVE! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!" Auntie Mame

>>>

I never asked for trust funds. They were thrust upon me. Have pity.

<<<
 
Posts: 3120 | Registered: August 21, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Norman Bates
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I love Mother
 
Posts: 132 | Location: Madness | Registered: October 20, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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quote:
Originally posted by Christopher Walken:
Dear Poodle,

While I did observe, bluesy, -ish, things in those clips, and hey, they were funny, I did not see any dogs being tortured.


2 words: horn dogs lol


>>>

"LIVE! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!" Auntie Mame

>>>

I never asked for trust funds. They were thrust upon me. Have pity.

<<<
 
Posts: 3120 | Registered: August 21, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Norman Bates
posted Hide Post


I love Mother
 
Posts: 132 | Location: Madness | Registered: October 20, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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