It Was Sean Hannity, In Michael Cohen’s Office, With A Boner (ALLEGEDLY)
We knew today’s Michael Cohen hearings were gonna be HOLY SHITFIRE, but we were NOT expecting that Michael Cohen’s mysterious third client — out of all three he’s had since the beginning of 2017 (so many clients you can count on 60% of one hand!) — the one whose name he was trying SOOOOOO HARD to keep a secret, would be THIS GUY
A Unified Theory Of WHAT THE FUCK Michael Cohen And Sean Hannity! It Might Even Be Right!
SEAN FUCKING HANNITY? Are you kidding us with this shit? Michael Cohen’s client is Sean Hannity? As our beloved Editrix blabbed to all of Twitter, this news knocked us sideways. But we have sufficiently recovered, after a nice liedown on the chatcave floor and a cold compress, to lawsplain it to you and offer up our best guess as to what the hell is going on here.
Nikki Haley Claps Back. Wonkagenda For Wed., April 18, 2018
Nikki Haley was thrown under the bus by the Trump administration after announcing additional Russian sanctions at a meeting of the UN security council. Trump’s economic advisory idiot Larry Kudlow called her “confused” during a press gaggle, to which Haley clapped back in a press release stating, “I don’t get confused.” Kudlow backed down. She wasn’t confused, they just forgot to tell her!
Uncle Bob's would like to apologize to the following people or groups of people who we undoubtedly have offended over the course of the past few years. If you feel you have been personally offended then take this apology to be specifically for you. Otherwise, we apologize to Jewish Mexicans, President Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm a.k.a. Hopey McChangey, Catholic Priests who dork little boys, vegetarians, Fruit Loop, Atkins' Diet adherents and other fat-asses, Dennis J. Olson, Delta Lady, Joe and his Socks, paranoid persona's, space aliens, Illegal Aliens, Boy Scouts, same sex aficionados, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Canadians, ditch diggers, people who support the aforementioned, people on Prozac, Mel Gibson, Nazi Mods, Tiger Woods, motorcycle gang members, rag heads or towel heads or any other Middle Eastern personas or personae, Crotch Bombers, Britney Spears, the blind, the entire Gay and Lesbian community, Charlie Sheen, Black Panthers, NAACP, and anybody who has ever been called Lard Ass.