quote:

"I am a classically educated 17th century British Viceroy who through a bizarre series of events was hurled through a rift in time to the year 2253 where I became the greatest starship captain in the Galaxy. With my quick thinking, steady blaster arm, and penchant for lightly buttered lemon walnut scones Earth just might stand a chance against the constant encroachments of the Volgor horde.

I can swim up waterfalls with unparalleled speed. I have the uncanny ability to detect alien invaders masquerading as abstract sculpture. I once sang a rendition of "No woman, No Cry" that brought a tear to the eye of the Pope and elicited a rousing burst of applause from several cardinals. I can hurl Swedish meatballs with practiced ease, and marksman's accuracy. I can create small rifts in space with my hand allowing me to travel short distances instantaneously. I fight against evil but for the wrong reasons. I do a better Tom Jones impression than Tom Jones himself. My one true fear is large tropical fruit.

On Thursdays before work I bake and distribute free onion bread to orphan children. I have often been witnessed inexplicably shaking my fist in anger and mouthing xenophobic epitaphs at abstract works of art. Each day I have no less than 3, but no more than 7 epic karate adventures in my mind. No less than 3 of these daily adventures result in my imagined death. Oak leaves taste like steak to my unsophisticated palette. I change colors when wet or exposed to a concentrated neutrino burst. I refer to myself only in the third person when captured by my enemies.

In my hands a mock turtleneck becomes a deadly weapon. Amongst coyotes I am revered as an almost legendary champion. When frightened I give off a subtle pineapple scent. I always bet on black.

My dream in life is to become a mexican stick fighter. Unfortunatly I am not mexican, can't fight well, and am mortally afraid of sticks, so needless to say, accomplishing that dream will be difficult to accomplish.

Someday I hope to meet Lionel Ritchie, just on the off chance he would say "Hello, is it me you're looking for?", and then I can say "Yes".

His reaction would be pretty hillarious. I think."

quote:

Originally posted by Pandy:
I thought it appropriate to eulogize Black Seal tonight. What better way to memorialize him than by his own words? I give you an excerpt from his memoirs...

quote:

"I am a classically educated 17th century British Viceroy who through a bizarre series of events was hurled through a rift in time to the year 2253 where I became the greatest starship captain in the Galaxy. With my quick thinking, steady blaster arm, and penchant for lightly buttered lemon walnut scones Earth just might stand a chance against the constant encroachments of the Volgor horde.

I can swim up waterfalls with unparalleled speed. I have the uncanny ability to detect alien invaders masquerading as abstract sculpture. I once sang a rendition of "No woman, No Cry" that brought a tear to the eye of the Pope and elicited a rousing burst of applause from several cardinals. I can hurl Swedish meatballs with practiced ease, and marksman's accuracy. I can create small rifts in space with my hand allowing me to travel short distances instantaneously. I fight against evil but for the wrong reasons. I do a better Tom Jones impression than Tom Jones himself. My one true fear is large tropical fruit.

On Thursdays before work I bake and distribute free onion bread to orphan children. I have often been witnessed inexplicably shaking my fist in anger and mouthing xenophobic epitaphs at abstract works of art. Each day I have no less than 3, but no more than 7 epic karate adventures in my mind. No less than 3 of these daily adventures result in my imagined death. Oak leaves taste like steak to my unsophisticated palette. I change colors when wet or exposed to a concentrated neutrino burst. I refer to myself only in the third person when captured by my enemies.

In my hands a mock turtleneck becomes a deadly weapon. Amongst coyotes I am revered as an almost legendary champion. When frightened I give off a subtle pineapple scent. I always bet on black.

My dream in life is to become a mexican stick fighter. Unfortunatly I am not mexican, can't fight well, and am mortally afraid of sticks, so needless to say, accomplishing that dream will be difficult to accomplish.

Someday I hope to meet Lionel Ritchie, just on the off chance he would say "Hello, is it me you're looking for?", and then I can say "Yes".

His reaction would be pretty hillarious. I think."

quote:

Originally posted by Internt Troll:
Blackseal is gone :'(

quote:

Originally posted by The Red Queen:
His head was much too small. I had it removed. My jabberwocky ate it. At McDonalds. In Manhattan. The rest of him is on the New Jersey turnpike.

quote:

Originally posted by Blackseal:
http://s13.zetaboards.com/Some...topic/9142996/3/#new

quote:

Originally posted by Traitor Vic:
That was nasty LOC, poor baby.