I have an Etch-a-sketch. It's about 3"x3". It sits next to Felix. Felix is always pointing toward the coffeemaker. You can't hear him, but he's saying "Have a cup of coffee! You'll feel better!".
You know what Felix keeps in his satchel? TREASURE!!!! Lots & lots of treasure. He's a very tricksy fellow and magical in many ways. Felix fans know about all that.
I also have a Felix clock. His tail swings back & forth. Actually, I'm not sure if it's one clock or two. It may be one of his magical tricks ala Schrödinger's cat. He's on the wall by my computer station, but when I go in my bedroom he's on the wall in there. I've never seen the two of them together. Very suspicious.
"LIVE! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!" Auntie Mame
I never asked for trust funds. They were thrust upon me. Have pity.
Uncle Bob's would like to apologize to the following people or groups of people who we undoubtedly have offended over the course of the past few years. If you feel you have been personally offended then take this apology to be specifically for you. Otherwise, we apologize to Jewish Mexicans, President Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm a.k.a. Hopey McChangey, Catholic Priests who dork little boys, vegetarians, Fruit Loop, Atkins' Diet adherents and other fat-asses, Dennis J. Olson, Delta Lady, Joe and his Socks, paranoid persona's, space aliens, Illegal Aliens, Boy Scouts, same sex aficionados, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Canadians, ditch diggers, people who support the aforementioned, people on Prozac, Mel Gibson, Nazi Mods, Tiger Woods, motorcycle gang members, rag heads or towel heads or any other Middle Eastern personas or personae, Crotch Bombers, Britney Spears, the blind, the entire Gay and Lesbian community, Charlie Sheen, Black Panthers, NAACP, and anybody who has ever been called Lard Ass.