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So if a heavy chain-smoker (one that rips the filters off of cigarettes) finally starts coughing and can't stop....
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1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sandyd:
Yeah, no boyfriend allowed right now.

Vibrators are awesome...some woman really did well inventing them! Big Grin


Vibrators are not as good as they used to be.

I had one years ago that used to really vibrate...like there was a little hammer thing in there that tapped back and forth and really made the motions.

The ones of today only seem to buzz til you get numb.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
oh....you want a strong one?

Look up Magic Wand Big Grin


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sandyd:
oh....you want a strong one?

Look up Magic Wand Big Grin


I've just looked and I believe I may order one.

And this might work for massaging GOG's back, too!
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
Hopefully you can try it and return it if you don't like it Big Grin

AccuVibe is similar too


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
I just don't want to be buzzed. I want to be vibrated.

Actually, I want to be touched, fondled, licked, nibbled, rubbed, teased...and I want to touch, fondle, lick, nibble, rub, and tease, too.

Dang! I'd'a thought that the ebb and flow of the urge would've flattened out a bit with menopause...maybe it was that full moon of last week that's done this?
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
Last hurrah of the hormones?

Mine don't yell at me to get licked now Big Grin

I think most vibrators now have buzz speed and thump speed.....

Not the little ones sold for sex but others that are for sure dual purpose.

I'd say my magic wand works on my knee as much or more than anything else.


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
susie, the USA AC to the Europe AC plug in stuff...do you have an adaptor?

I have a thumping toy that was expensive that I hate!

Erosclator http://www.amazon.com/Eroscill...2-Plus/dp/B000OH0IEC

I'd send it to you if it's legal to do so....


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
update?


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sandyd:
update?


Update? It's been Hell. I'm sorry not to have posted anything for so long, but it's just too horrible...and I'm not talking about the lung cancer, either.

If I could figure a way to get myself out of this mess, I think I'd pack up and go, really. I did try to leave, once, but the Godfather said I couldn't, so I went back.

Awww...there have been human and funny moments, but they are few and far between.

Princess, for all her faults, has been great. Of course, it's better for her if I stay, cause then she's less in the line of fire.

Chemo number four has just taken effect, and as much as each chemo has different results, this time it's most like the first time...he's in bed, very sick, thinking he's dying, and in a horrible temper.

Course, he had thought he was getting better, so I guess it's the shock (as much as the shandies and poor diet).

Two weeks ago, you see, the docs told him that the tumour had shrunk by about a third, so he thought he was 'healed'. Except the pain and the fatigue and the coughing and spitting blood and weight loss and mental confusion have continued. And his hair is getting awfully thin in patches.

He's depressed. Every single bit of his life is falling apart before his very eyes and all the magic in the world ain't helping it to get better.

He's trying extortion on me and it isn't working for him, so then I haven't yet bought the shop. There's some equipment at the shop which has broken down and Mr. Gay Dominant hasn't come to fix it. Princess has gone off to boarding school and says she's lost her telephone, then she missed her train the first weekend back. Two tires and the alternator on the truck need fixing. The fridge broke. The consequences of the court case are about to be presented to him. He can't go get his papers in order for help with cancer/work/social help and finance because he's cheated himself into a corner (kinda like painting yourself into a corner but worse). He's about to be investigated for fraud...and that's only for the personal papers social services side, the business side is sure to follow...which means all aide and help may be cut off (except the cancer care; France does have a human side, after all), and may also probably mean that there will be money that has to be paid back. He's way too interested in Princess's underwear and I've caught him out and said (if he were in better health, I might just have gone out and bought him fancy undies of his very own...and made him wear them). He's was making plans to extort money (from me) and run away to another life (pizza van or similar shop on the coast), but I just had to go and say no and ruin his life, didn't I?

See...I was supposed to buy the shop for a fair price but still give Princess the same amount again when she turns 18....which was ok with me....PLUS support him while he's dying because I've taken away his source of income...but all of a sudden it turns out he's never paid back the friends he borrowed the money from to buy the shop in the first place and now he says he wants the Princess money right now so he can 'pay back his friends' (ahem...escape to the coast and try to make pizzas). The funny part is that he keeps forgetting how much and who he owes this borrowed money from, every time I ask for specifics he gives me new names and new figures.

Anyway, I said 'Non' and so he canceled the final signing date at the Notary Public for now (til I come up with the loot).

The thing is...once the first signature was signed, I had the iron clast right to buy and he had the iron clast right to sell (even if I should die, my kids have the right to buy)(and if he dies, I buy from princess and company). If either of us decides to back out on the deal, the one that backs out has to pay the other a fee of more than ten percent.

So I can push the issue. It won't make him happy and might be dangerous, but I could push and buy. Cause he can't pay the fine and he can't find another buyer that will accept his terms. And he can't even get out of bed this week to run the place or see to the clients.

I could also just back out...there are days when I ask myself why I don't just do this and wash my hands of the whole affair (him included), even if it does cost me the ten percent. Fuck it.

But then, there are days when I feel as if I'd rot in Hell for abandoning an old sick (and admitedly nasty) man to die a lonely and horrible death...not to mention leaving Princess in the lurch and giving her even more problems for her already doubtful future happiness.

He's pushing. He asked what I was planning to do about it all and I told him that the entire excercise began as a way to protect Princess and I would prefer it to stay that way...pay the buying price and give her some money when she's older, thus avoiding inheritance and legal problems for him.

I told him I was going back to plan B+ or C-. Plan A was figuring out a way for him to do his paperwork to avoid his other kids inheriting, plan B was the signing of the Will that didn't work because of his legal problems, plan C was I buy the place. B+/C- is I wait for him to die and then I buy.

But, as that entails taking care of him til he dies (I DID promise)........

It's more difficult that I'd thought. All of it.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
At least you dug in your heels and ruined it all to protect yourself.

Will his friends expect you to pay them back?
I gather the loans to them were not in writing and so are not legally something they can show?

Doesn't the contract to buy/sell depend on full disclosure of things like that? If it's a real loan on the biz, shouldn't the contract be null-if anything he may owe you the 10%?

Or once the gov gets done taking the biz from him, again, he will owe you, not you owe him. cuz he can't sell it to you once the gov takes it from him Smile

So do nothing and wait it out, if probably your best bet.

The rest...
quote:
I did try to leave, once, but the Godfather said I couldn't, so I went back.


Leave GOG's home to sleep at your own? WTF does some jackass from prison have to do with what you do?

susie...did you end up stuck with the mafia-you do what they want or hurt your family? Yet, for years he has owed them and they didn't hurt him?

quote:
But then, there are days when I feel as if I'd rot in Hell for abandoning an old sick (and admitedly nasty) man to die a lonely and horrible death


Nope, hell is not for leaving nasty folks, dying or not. But would you make your own mental/emotional hell for leaving him? If so, WHY?

gee, you have the worst taste in men, evar.

quote:
But, as that entails taking care of him til he dies (I DID promise)........


okay, but what are the details of the promise? I'm serious-a promise to take care of him doesn't mean he gets everything he wants, his way. You already figured out how to say no to the bs with the shop.
Say no to other things too.

If France has care he can get, rather than try to make you do it-be there to tell the nurse you can't do it. Get your doc to say you can't do it-you are risking a nervous breakdown blah blah etc...

Yes, you can too, manipulate right the hell back.

Taking care of someone doesn't mean always being the one to wipe their ass, when others can do it too. It may mean getting the others there to wipe their share or paid for amount of ass.


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post



Picture of #12
posted Hide Post
I hear Wyoming is nice.

Get out while you can. There is no "win-win" there and suffering is not a virtue.
 
Posts: 1208 | Registered: April 19, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
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Just a quick note to say that since we've already signed for me buying the shop, nobody can take away my right to buy it if I so please. I can force that issue and so can he on his side...if either of us back out, they have to pay the other ten percent of the sale price plus Notary fees. Nobody has the right to buy it except for me (or take it away from him under my nose).

That's a nice little French rule that prevents something called 'Gazumping' (a British word for when you sign for a house and the owner finds a better price from someone else and sells it to the highest bidder). And also protects and prevents the repo man taking your stuff. He's all but sold it to me, he just has to sign the last bit of paper.

There's many more details in this deal, and many more problems that he has...but I have to get this note typed and get off running the day....shops to run, kids to get into boarding schools, kids to pick up at train stations, cars to get, etc...

Wyoming sounds lovely. Heck, ANYWHERE else sounds lovely.

I'll just leave you with a chuckle...

The other morning, I was sitting on GOG's bed and discussing the day with him ...he happened to be lying on his back (which is very rare; usually I only get to see his back as he is always turned away from me...even when he needs his hand held, he turns only just enough for that...I reached over and began to gently rub his belly (which is a bit swollen, as is his face, probably due to chemo or meds, I guess), not for anything but for being human. I usually rub his back or his shoulders, but I liked the novel idea of the front side, see?

He flinched. Not really surprising, that.

So I diplomatically removed my hand and we continued talking. He had one hand over his eyes (doesn't want to see me) and one safely under the feather quilt (in August! With flannel PJ's!).

Then his cat jumped up onto the bed and he removed his hand from his eyes and began to carress the cat. So I got up from the bed and went out into my day, saying to him, "Well, then, I'll just go now and leave you to stroke the only pussy that you're capable of stroking, shall I?". As I walked down the hall, I heard, "Awww, Suze!".

LOL. I chuckled to myself for the rest of the day. Gotta take the humour where you can find it.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
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He has an infection. Hurts when he pees and the doc gave him creams and iodine. Says it comes from the chemo.

I do keep telling him to stop eating raw horsemeat and drinking only shandies and eating only mint candies, pasta, cheese, meat, peaches and bread.

In the end, it'll probably be a simple infection gone bad that finally carries him off.

I'll be back later to expound.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
quote:
And also protects and prevents the repo man taking your stuff.


So do you owe the repo man too or does the repo man get nothing even though he is still owed on it?


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sandyd:
quote:
And also protects and prevents the repo man taking your stuff.


So do you owe the repo man too or does the repo man get nothing even though he is still owed on it?


The repo man isn't my problem. And if GOG gets his act together and signs rather quickly, there is a possibility that the repo man might not even get the money I pay for the shop....it may be that it's a 'first come-first served' thing...he gets his friends to send a bill to the Notary for their loans to him that they gave him to originally buy the shop, and they get the money I pay for it when I buy it from him. But if the repo man gets there first, tough luck.

Not my problem.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
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This fourth chemo is difficult for GOG.

Flat out in bed and tired. Beginning to have a puffy face and belly from the chemo. Runny poops and exploding butt. More and more pain spasms. Coughing. Puffy emphysema skin. Swollen ankles and feet. Chest pain. Some kind of fungal thing on his willy (I dunno...I have't seen it for months). A lump appearing by his anus (might be from all that exploding butt syndome). A runny nose. Bald patches and thinning hair. Sore gums.

Course, it doesn't help that all he will drink are shandies (beer mixed with seven-up), and all he will eat is pasta, cheese, bread, meat, or peaches.

Won't talk about it, either. Doesn't want help with anything. I'm not allowed anymore to go with him to see the Doc. Popping painkillers like candy. Sleeping pills not working as well as they did before.

I keep cooking, he keeps not eating or finding excuses to have a fit of bad temper and throw dinner in the sink or stalk away.

All of the kids and I just keep living our lives and working around him...roll our eyes and ignore him or try to humour him. We talk about it when he's gone off somewhere else in a huff.

Princess is happy to be off at boarding school. Mine have all gone, too. Just weekends with kids. The girls are planning to goo off to Paris during the next vacations...after surviving London, they have grown wings.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Virgin

posted Hide Post
Sounds like normal chemo to me....other than he is an asshole with or without the chemo.

Just avoid him as much as you can? Sounds like he avoids you


_________________________________
"Always better to be out and wish you were in, than to be in and wish you were out."

Lib said:
making baseless assumptions is the national sport of UncleBobistan

what you wish for me I wish you twice ..

Demonizaiton of other viewpoints is a primary tool of propagandists who seek to de-humanize those who see things differently which makes it all too easy for those on the edge to use violence with indifference.

You are beautiful cuz you
are there, not there cuz you are beautiful.


Freedom is an Idea. It is not a Place.
 
Posts: 32503 | Location: SoCal  | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Resident Heathen

posted Hide Post
Sorry things are so bad, Susie - I might suggest you give up on the cooking unless you're cooking for you. Sounds like a waste, otherwise.

As far as him popping painkillers - at this point, that's that they are for - and if one sleeping pill won't let him sleep, perhaps another one might be in order.

Hang onto your rights, and your self.





 
Posts: 1288 | Location: Appalachia | Registered: September 06, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
I think that the cancer is winning. It's like a race, really...one week he feels fine and 'cured' and the next the tiredness comes back with a vengeance.

It's the worst it's ever been, this week. Chemo isn't until tomorrow and he's been down and dragging his butt and asking why the tiredness has come back now, before chemo. But it's not the chemo tired, it's the same cancer tired that happened in the beginning, even before he got the diagnosis.

And he's been at the hospital for the past two nights...and maybe tonight, too...as he's had a colonoscopy to have a peek at some polyps that seem problematic. If they keep him tonight, he'll also stay til Saturday, as tomorrow morning starts chemo number five. Dunno if it was all that good an idea to schedule the colon thing so close to the chemo thing, as that makes for even more tiredness.

Plus all the problems that usually happen after chemo have come this last week, BEFORE...and I was thinking that the problems were caused by the reaction to chemo...swollen ankles, feet, hands, neck. Coughing. Snoring. Loss of balance. Tired, tired, tired. Personally, I think it's back to the cardiologue to see about this erratic heartbeat thing...I think the chemo probably kick-started the erratic heartbeat but now it's the tiredness of maybe the tumour winning the battle that's causing all of this.

That and the fact that he's only drinking shandies and only eating crap and insisted on driving off to a few antique fairs. If he spends any time at all sitting in a car, his legs swell up. I told him to not get on any airplanes, especially long-haul flights. None of us will get into any car he's driving, it's too dangerous.
 
Posts: 16787 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Resident Heathen

posted Hide Post
The side effects of chemo are cumulative, Susie - might be why he's feeling worse even before the treatment - all the chemo he's had before are causing the bad side effects even before he gets the next round. I'd guess the implications of that are that after the next chemo he's going to be even worse than usual, I'm afraid.

Good idea not to get in a car with him driving - I wouldn't be doing that either. Dangerous now, and just going to get more so.





 
Posts: 1288 | Location: Appalachia | Registered: September 06, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post



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