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So if a heavy chain-smoker (one that rips the filters off of cigarettes) finally starts coughing and can't stop....
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1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
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quote:
Originally posted by occupant:
So sorry that you have had to go through all of this misery, Susie ! I just learned of this.Kalani is your lil Guardian Angel now, looking over you. All will be fine, mon amie. Je Taime,

Thanks, Mimi.
So far, so good...if that can be said.
The kids are doing ok, mostly. I'm continuing as before, with an inner sort of sometimes calm-sometimes drowning, but still paddling.
Kalani's birthday is coming up, and my daughter's decided that we...our family plus Kalani's closest friends...need to have a litte fete. Sort of; better to celebrate a birthday than a death.
So on Friday, we're getting together for a BBQ by the river we spent so much time on, when the kids were little.
I've got some sky lanterns for that.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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So, other than the bbq tonight, I've got a brain scan appointment for this morning.
There have been too many strange things, and blood test show negative for other things, so this is the next step.
So if the IVP dye doesn't kill me or set off any reactions, I'll be back later to let y'all know how it went.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Good luck with your scan. Hopefully they'll find nothing.


"Bigly!"
 
Posts: 6396 | Location: SouthCentral Texas | Registered: August 02, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Originally posted by Helel ben Shaḥar:
Good luck with your scan. Hopefully they'll find nothing.

Thanks...if they find anything, I hope it's not too iffy and that it'll answer (and solve) the problems I'm having, lately. And not be something worse. But then again, GP Jean Francois did say, after checking out thyroide/apnea/cholesterol/heart/diabetes, that a tumour may be what's responsible.
Lol, I said to him that the lab must've mixed up my blood tests, as it's pretty hard to believe that I don't have at least one of the problems he's already checked for. Or maybe that's just sortvof wishful thinking, after the T word.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The BBQ was lovely. The sky lanterns were wonderful. It didn't rain, although the Gave d'Oloron river was pretty full from previous rain and snowmelt. Five of Kalani's close friends, two of their girlfriends, one baby, two of my kids (one is working too far away), my two dogs.

Celebrating a birthday is way better than celebrating a death, and we all had such a nice time of it, that we're planning to do it next year, too. And maybe camp for the weekend, too. And maybe invite a few more of Kalani's friends. None of us was sure about doing this, at first...in was my daughter's idea, and she actually called a meeting with the participants a week beforehand, where they all got used to the idea and decided to keep it small and intimate, and see how things went. Lol, three rugby teams might've been too much. Maybe next year.

The sky lanterns were an idea I got from a friend in Hawaii, who does a birthday party forchis deceased daughter every year, and just happened to mention them on his Facebook page. I asked, and he sent me the link to find them. They're inexpensive, very light, biodegradable, easy to unfold and light up (one had a small tear, that I simply twisted back together so that the hot air didn't escape), and float up high and can be seen for ages. They're about a yard tall and a foot and a half wide, made of very thin tissue paper, bamboo, and a small cube of something that you light on fire and that creates a hot-air balloon. One of ours got set off too close to tree branches and bobbed a few seconds underneath them, but escaped into full sky without ripping, and floated peacefully off.
The directions that come with them suggest writing a message on the tissue paper, using a sharpie pen. None of us wanted to do that, but it could be a sweet idea. They cost about one euro each ($1.20) from Amazon.fr, although they're less expensive on aliexpress.

Leilani and I had popped over to Spain on the morning, to buy the food and drink for the BBQ. Way less expensive, much better variety, and also a nice little on hour roadtrip. As usual, I got too much, so she and Keoni and I had another BBQ with the stuff left over, yesterday. Same river, better fishing spot. Thaen I fell asleep on the riverbank along with the dogs, and they went fishing for trout. So, except that Keala couldn't be there, it was a very nice weekend.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The scan, which just happened to be taken along the same road as going to Spain to get BBQ things, was one of those amazing circular x-ray machines that take slices of you and lay them out like salami on a platter.

I fell asleep, of course, so I don't know how long the procedure took. Leilani had gone for a walk into the town of Saint Palais, where it was market day, to not have to just sit around and wait for me to finish with the scan.

There was no use of IVP dye, at least this time, so I was able to drive on to Spain and back without the fear of any kind of allergic reaction, such as the convulsions I'd had before. Anyway, Lani now has her license, so she's able to drive.

The radiologist wasn't there, so I don't know if there's any clue.

-The past year or so, I've been falling asleep whenever I stop being busy or moving around. I'm not sleepy or tired or even yawning. But I just fall asleep at the drop of a hat, like. If I'm up and moving, it doesn't happen...except lately I'm having to fight sleep as I drive, which is freaky. When this first began, I thought it was because the French tart job had ended and I was just catching up on my sleep, but it's not the same as being tired or worn out from work.
-And I'm not only forgetful, but losing words. Lol, the kids complained before about me always repeating things, but this is different. What they never realized before is that I'd repeat question til I got the answer I wanted, lol. But now it's for real...concentration has gone, memory is blanking, words are no longer even on the tip of my tongue, and these things don't even bother me, cause it's not that I don't care, it's that they aren't there. It doesn't even bother me very much if I think about it, except to wonder what might be happening.
-Sometimes, it seems to me that I 'come back from somewhere'. As if I've been somewhere and returned, then wonder where I'd been. It started to happen when I'd wake up, or when I was really relaxed and usually in bed. No idea where I'd been, or if there was, it was such a fleeting memory, that I couldn't recall, or couldn't explain, even to myself. I think flashes of this are now happening even when I'm not in a zen mode, or in bed waking up, but also in little flashes during the day, too.
-And recently, when I 'come back from somewhere', I feel as I cross back over just after, or while, arguing with another me. Not a twin me, or me in another place, but a second me. I'm usually telling her off for doing or saying dumb shit...but the memory is so fleeting, that even if I try, I cannot recall what it was about. Lol, Keoni says I sound like my kids telling me off when I do things my way, instead of the 'ordinary' (French) way.
-A few other bits are worrisome, too, although age, lack of excercise, weight gain, etc., may be the answer....teensy occasional loss of equilibrium (or perhaps fear of), mumbled words (maybe I speak too quickly), sore neck and back of head (too much sleep/kindle), the right side of my head, eye included, seems clearer, and gets more light (could be the window on that side of the bed, except it happens elsewhere, too), food doesn't taste as good as it used to (could be I need to yo see Freddy-the-Dentist).
Could be depression stress, Kalani's suicide, except it doesn't feel the same as before, plus it began way before Kalani died.

So, I'm waiting to see what the scan brings, if anything. And futzing around with possible anticipatory actions, be it bad news or not so bad news, or no news.
In the meantime, I'm preparing to go help my mom, made friends with a refugee family from Syria, making soap (tomorrow it's trying out a laundrysoap recipe), working temp at a Basque cheese factory, pets, house, etc., etc...
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Your falling to sleep sounds like me before I got my CPAP machine. It keeps my airway open so I have a restful sleep finally. I've been using one for 20 years now and only fall to sleep during the say when I am sick. The CPAP is magic.


"Bigly!"
 
Posts: 6396 | Location: SouthCentral Texas | Registered: August 02, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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"There is nothing here but enjoyment. It's a buffet of madness and quackery, mixed with a bit of crazed horn dogs and thingsthatgobumpinthenight. -- Traitor Vic
 
Posts: 2921 | Registered: August 15, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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That's great news!


"Bigly!"
 
Posts: 6396 | Location: SouthCentral Texas | Registered: August 02, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post



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Yay! Please enjoy some cognac and cheese to celebrate!
 
Posts: 7953 | Registered: February 03, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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It's my car. I'm pretty sure that it's been trying to kill me, by poisoning me with carbon monoxide, coming from a crack at the front end of the pipe. It's been helped by my not opening the windows, which have been a bit stuck since the car was broken into, over a year ago. Maybe the air vents and the fans have also contributed.

There's been an occasional funny noise from under the car for a while, which I thought was maybe a fan or something, as I could often smell burnt engine oil (there is a tiny oil leak from the engine head, and it is a bit splattered). Two different mechanics have said that the noise is from the exhaust pipe, and one actually had a look. I figured I'd eventually have to get that fixed, a d thought it would have to be done in order for the car to pass the next safety check, so I could wait til then. And then it actually passed the check last saturday, with only needing two new tires, one replaced headlamp, one sidelamp battery, and the changing of a rear seatbelt strap that one of the dogs had chewed through.

I've been going wonky, really feeling as if I were coming apart/falling to bits. Always falling asleep, sleeping all the time, lack of concentration, forgetful, no inspiration to do much of anything, one droopy eye, strange things in my head as I nodded off or woke up, going away in my head...or rather, coming back from I don't know where, knowing I'd argued with a second me while I was 'gone', struggling to breathe, difficulty to sometimes even move my arms, loss of bladder and bowel control, blurry eyes, half of the inside of my head feeling lighter than the other half, feeling not exactly floaty, but not really 'there', fighting to stay awake/lucid/in control when driving, falling down the stairs...twice...can't say if I slipped or whatever, but one of the falls gave me a huge lump at the back of my head, afraid to do anything as I had no concentration, etc..

This week, as I was coming back from Pau, visiting with two of the kids (130 klm), I almost got into a car accident. Instead of stopping at an intersection, AND seeing a car coming from the left, I just pulled out and came within inches of getting smashed into...by a patrol car with two cops in it!

Damn, I saw it coming, I saw it was gendarmes, I saw it was right close, and I pulled out, anyway. Dunno why. They screeched to a halt, and all I did was to turn left, pull up to their window, roll my window down (it had gotten repaired last week), and say 'oops, sorry!'. And drive off. Looking back, I think they let me drive away because they were in shock at my driving away. Looking back, they should've hauled me outta that car and at least breathalysed me and taken me awayvin handcuffs and given me a ticket and stopped me ever driving again. I was sober, of course.

Thing is, that happened on Tuesday, but it wasn't til late Wednesday that I even thought about it. And when I did,vit was like 'you didn't really do that did you?'...and like it was all either a dream, or didn't really happen, or wasn't a big deal.

THAT'S the part that freaked me out, that I didn't freak out at what I'd done. That's when I figured I was coming apart at the seams, or something, and needed to get some serious help.

The next day, I'd gone out with a friend, and we were discussing what's been happening, when she told me about her headaches from using a petrol heater in a rather closed off room in her house...which led to a discussion of lacking oxygen, then carbon monoxide, then... when I got home and looked it up on dr. google, it was right there in plain sight!

The cracked exhaust pipe.
The noise underneath the car.
The symptoms.
The timing all match up.

So I called Jean Francois the GP, and agrees that this may be the problem, and I'm going to see him this next week. With strict orders not to drive my car, or roll down all of the windows, if I really have to.



I was pretty sure I was losing control of myself, body and mind. Up until a few days ago, I was beginning to seriously consider having myself put into the big psychiatric hospital in Pau. That's where Kalani was for four months, when he had that psychotic episode and when we discovered he was bi-polar...I was pretty impressed with the place, and figured maybe they could find what was wrong with me, too.

So this is better. As long as I'm not dead, it's better than crazy, better than brain tumour, better than all of the previous suspicions. Even though, as JF says, there may be longlasting effects, and it may take many months to get better.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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quote:
Originally posted by susie:
There's been an occasional funny noise from under the car for a while...

Did you happen to run over a french clown?
 
Posts: 2932 | Registered: March 22, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Originally posted by To The Left of Crazy:
quote:
Originally posted by susie:
There's been an occasional funny noise from under the car for a while...

Did you happen to run over a french clown?

You'll have to explain this to me...
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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It's been a funny old year, so far...

Suicide
Carbon monoxide poisoning
Suspected epilepsy
Lava threatening my Mom
And now, rain-caused flood so bad, that the entire town has flooded. Came in through the window, four feet of muddy water in the house.

Lol, that's one way to de-clutter.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by To The Left of Crazy:
quote:
Originally posted by susie:
There's been an occasional funny noise from under the car for a while...

Did you happen to run over a french clown?


The French love mimes so that shouldn't be the cause of the funny noises


But you may have a point - Carbon Monoxide is the "silent killer" Red Face


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Posts: 3221 | Location: On frozen pond | Registered: July 15, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Susie, you've been under overwhelming stress with events. There's a good probability you blew a few brain receptors. Fortunately the plasticity of the brain allows for healing and recovery with mindful activities and exercises, plus good healing nutrition and clean atmosphere. The falling asleep thing is your brain needing to shut down to do the healing.
 
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Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Our local facebook page has some whiners complaing about the town not keeping up with weeding the streets and lanes.
Like weeds are a priority after the flooding, right.
So I bought a few gallons of white vinegar, dissolved salt in it, ad added dishsoap, then went out on a weed spraying and killing mission....inviting the complainers to come and join me.

They're still sitting on their asses.

So I called the Mormon missionaries. They came, we sprayed, the mayor took pictures and posted them on the official town page.

There's still nobody else helping out, but the reactions, on facebook and in the streets, have been positive.

I've gone to Amazon and ordered a backpack version of a sprayer. The town should look pretty good in about a week or so.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I've gone through over a thousand liters of vinegar, and about fifty pounds of salt, so far.
The town looks great.
Walking around for a few hours most days, seeing and speaking to humans, sunshine, a bit of political discussion on who should be killing weeds or paying for the vinegar solution, going into every lane, alley, nook, and cranny and the memories that brings (good, bad, horrible, hilarious), doing this as volunteer work....it's all been a way of getting better/healing/recovering, after this really shitty year.
The CO thing is still ongoing...more than three hours 'work' brings on a restart of some of the symptoms. I've learned to rest and to be careful of what I do and what i eat and drink.
I've also tweaked the vinegar solution...I put a few kilos of salt into a pot, and add 5 percent white alcohol-based distilled vinegar. This gets gently heated, stirred often, and by the time it's pretty warm, the vinegar has absorbed as much salt as it can hold.
Into each liter of this concentrate, I squeeze in five little shots of dishsoap. When I'm ready to fill the sprayer, I pour in one liter of the master mix to four of plain vinegar.
In case you want to try this...
Spray on a sunny day, leaves only.
Avoid plants you want to keep.
If you saturate the surrounding earth, you may kill the micro-organisms, and you may not have growth in that spot for a few konths (I saturate the ground between sidewalk cracks and cobblestones, and also by rock walls, and along the bottoms of the houses in town, which are paved right up to their edges, anyway.
 
Posts: 16853 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post



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