Uncle Bob's World Famous Fora    Uncle Bob's    Uncle Bob's  Hop To Forum Categories  Community Forums  Hop To Forums  Time Out!    So if a heavy chain-smoker (one that rips the filters off of cigarettes) finally starts coughing and can't stop....
Page 1 ... 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 
Go
New
Find
Tools
Reply
  
So if a heavy chain-smoker (one that rips the filters off of cigarettes) finally starts coughing and can't stop....
 Login/Join
 

posted Hide Post
my condolences ............god bless you
 
Posts: 12717 | Registered: September 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by susie:
Thomas, the butcher's son was found sunday afternoon. He'd hung himself. Did I already tell you about that?...I do know that I'm repeating myself all the time, these past days.

I ran into his parents in town, just as I came back from viewing Kalani in the morgue at the really beautiful teaching hospital in Toulouse...it's up on a hill and it makes me think of a huge Chinese or maybe Tibetan chateau or fortress. If I'm ever really sick, I want to stay there, in a room overlooking the world.

They were on their way to Toulouse, to see Thomas.

I didn't tell them that the place reeked of death.

I'm not sure if my clothes still smell of it, or it's my brain fooling me, but I'm getting occasional whifs, still.

The only relatively good news for me, anyway, is that going to see Kalani made acceptance easy. I told him off for jumping, stroked his cheeks, inspected his head and neck, saw that they'd done their best to clean him up and did a lovely job of sewing back up what must've been where they cut off a part of his skull to see if he had brain problems that might've contributed to his suicide, thought maybe he'd landed on one shoulder or an ear, as one side was pretty dark red and there was a slight neck deformation, (I'm hoping it means his neck broke instantly and there was no pain), took a picture (I'm not sure how I feel about me doing that, but I did it), and rang the buzzer to call the technician and thank him for the very nice job of having Kalani look presentable.

A friend took me. I was gonna go by myself, but another friend yelled, so my friend drove the more than 500 klm round trip with me. Turned out it was the best idea.

I almost didn't go. The kids really freaked and insisted I didn't go...lol, I didn't tell them.
But the cops said, when they called me after the autopsy, that if I wanted to see him before they nailed the coffin shut, that I had to go there.
French death practices aren't the same as US ones. Not entirely bad, but way different.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel a bit less crazy after this.
This morning is the visit to the undertaker.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post

posted Hide Post
hugs
 
Posts: 12717 | Registered: September 30, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
Remember that book, maybe from the sixties, called 'The American way of Death'? I read it before I was even a teenager (that must've freaked out my mom, then, because she told me that she remembers me reading it). Maybe I was a weird kid or something, cause I also read 'The 900 Days', and 'The Happy Hooker', back then.
I like to think thatvit was because that was all I could find to read. It was at that age that I figured out that books for kids and books for grownups were different, and that adult fiction was boring as hell.

The book, in case I'm the only person that's ever read it or remembers it (lol), is all about what morticians actually do. Corpse prep, funeral details, and what popped into my head; sales tactics. Using guilt and sorrow and regret and keeping up with Jones' to sell a fancier coffin, a nicer service, more add-on sales, etc..

So, anyway, The American Way of Death came straight back into my head, as I first spoke over the telephone with the local undertaker. Like, he was all 'we can take of this for you, we can do that for you, we'll arrange everything, Madame'.

ExcUUUse me? If I want a ready-to-eat pizza delived napkins and all to my front door, or a keys-in-hand-fully-furnished new house, yeah, I'll call and order that. But to just turn over my boy and get back a shiny fancy coffin and a canned funeral service and them even tasking it upon themselves to deal with sending ashes off to his granny in Hawaii (that's one option we'd thought of)...ummm, non merci.

I was rather ranting about this as a friend was driving me to the morgue. Lol, she made me promise to bite my tongue and and at least be polite during the visit. Said that most people don't handle death in the way I have (I am getting a few raised eyebrows for still standing and even...shock, horror, smiling as I remember and speak about that kid), that most people are happy to turn over everything to capable pros, cause it's easier that way.

Damn, being a zombie doesn't mean I'm not in mourning. Sharing happier moments doesn't mean I'm not sad. Saying it's good he's dead and not suffering, anymore, doesn't mean I don't (or didn't, whatever tense you wanna use) love the shit outta that boy.

Yeah, ok, maybe I'm a bit fragile at the moment.

It isn't as if I needed to pass the circular saw or the scalpel at the autopsie, or make sure the face looks good and the mouth has been properly sewed shut for viewing, or even that the damn ashes get to where they're going. But if I wanted to just sleep and then wake up when it's all over, or float through all this without being a part of it all, I'd have said...or they might've noticed and taken the reins, so to speak.

Yeah, ok, maybe I'm going a little overboard.

Oops...out of battery...brb

This message has been edited. Last edited by: susie,
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
42 cryptotard comment points
Picture of dragon_rider
posted Hide Post
your attitude and mix of emotions is spot on

life has changed not ended

keep on being you, Susie <3
 
Posts: 7953 | Registered: February 03, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
There have been two, different, attempted suicides within the past few days...both by young people pretty much the same ages of our boys, both known as friends or gone to school with by our boys.
The baker just told me. Neither of us are doing ok with this news. His son is being buried in the morning, Kalani's rugby club is having a life celebration for him sometime early next week. Both of us are worried about what, or who, might crack at either of these events, and maybe try an attenpt, too.
This is a small country town, 5000 people max, 8000 if you count the surrounding hamlets and tiny villages.
I feel sick.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
So the French version of death isn't quite the same as the back-home versions I remember.
Overvhere, dead people look dead. Sunken eyes and cheeks, sallow skin, blackened fingernails. The smell of death.

You can tell right away that they're dead. I guess I can now say that this seeing a real-live dead person (did I really just say that?!), well, if it doesn't help with acceptance, it certainly does help with the reality of it all.

There are some choices, same as back home.
Burial
In a cemetery, as part of a family tomb or in an individual grave. Marble slab or tombstone optional.
In a communal grave, usually in the next big city nearby.
Religious or civil service optional.
Nowaday, non-religious/other religious/suicide/unbaptized are allowed to be buried with the general public, and no longer banished to the far end of the cemetery.
If there's no room in the chosen cemetery, many have little buildings where the dead can wait until there's a place available...little stone house at the corner of the cemetery, with half a dozen or so windowed fridge doors, each with a visible coffin behind them...just waiting around for someone else's family to stop paying burial plot rent, get evicted, and opening up a space.
Buried at home (new to France). Must own the property, and if it's ever sold, must ensure permanent public access to the gravesite.

Cremation (my other kids voted for this option. I didn't, and didn't use my veto powers)
Must buy and burn a coffin along with the body. I wasn't happy with this...what a waste of natural resources and money. So I asked for the most recyclable version, which is a plain pine box, know here as a Jewish coffin. Cardboard, paper mache, and willow coffins are beginning to be accepted, but they're not available in the SW, where we are.
Homemade/handmade coffins are not allowed.
The kids are going to the cremation, along with my brother, who just happens to be in Bulgaria at the moment, working for NATO. I'm not going, as I already said my aloha to Kalani atvthe morgue. Once is enough.
I did ask how it goes at the crematorium.
You get fifteen minutes (they're busy people, with lots of work), a room with benches, a service is optional, coffin at the center of the room. After the time's up, the coffin goes through a little opening and a curtain is closed over. You can stay and watch the actual incineration, but only on a closed feed video, with the screen for your loved one showing in an adjoining room.
This surprised me so much, that I asked the funeral home lady if it were possible to buy the video, afterwards. Lol, shoulda seen the look on her face! (Sorry, couldn't help it)
Ashes can only be dispersed in a special area of a cemetary, or left in a sort of gridded tower, there.
Unless...and this is where we're lucky, as none of wanted a cemetery...you want to take them out of the country, or bury them in your garden at home. Not fogetting airline rules; must be accompanied, metal urn, inside a backpack, in the cabin and with you at all times.
Home garden burial is the same as body garden burial.
We have yet to decide between shipping him off to hawaii, or letting him stay up in the forest he so loved.

This, no matter what choice, generally starts at about €3000.00, which is around $5000.00, I think.
Like I really ever thought to put any money aside for that.
I'll figure it out, but the funeral home said they wanted a bank permission slip from my bank or Kalani's, plus a quarter up front, otherwise they wouldn't give me back the birth certificate nor the death certificate, which I need for all the peperwork and notifications in progress.
At that point, I almost told them that they could just keep Kalani, then (I didn't, but only because I promised a friend that I'd be polite).

Bah...I simply went to the town hall, the same afternoon, and got a dozen copies of what I needed.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
Nous souhaitons rendre un hommage à un fils, un frère, un ami, un coéquipier, dans une ambiance colorée et conviviale, afin de partager ensemble les bons moments et souvenirs que nous avons partagés avec Kalani.
Dans l'idée de célébrer sa vie, nous vous invitons à venir passer un agréable moment ensemble le Lundi 29 Janvier à 17h à la salle de la Rotonde à Salies de Béarn.
Merci de ne pas apporter de fleurs ni de plaques, votre présence suffit.
La famille Misajon

This more or less says; come join us to celebrate Kalani's life. Don't bother with flowers, just bring yourself and happy memories.
Monday, five pm, the Rotunde Hall, Salies de Bearn.

It's pretty much the rugby club and the mayor doing this. My daughter is being kept busy by them, organising, which helps her deal with Kalani's death. This morning, at Thomas' funeral, Claude (the mayor), told me he'd asked my daughter for pictures of Kalani, and if she had any of Thomas, so he could make posters to put up in the hall. Lol, he never even asked thomas' parents about any of this (I discreetly asked tyem, and they're ok with it).
Good for the community.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
4923 Tard Points

God

posted Hide Post
Susie how are you holding up?
 
Posts: 52631 | Registered: October 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Nikoli Krushev:
Susie how are you holding up?

Aww, thanks for asking.
It goes up and down, which i guess is normal.
On sunday, my daughter has a full blown meltdown...hyperventilating, sobbing, screaming, trying to escape, not making any sense; the whole works. I wasn't there, and the others were going hiking and she didn't want to go with them. I called them and told them to get her to the hospital (lol, we we're staying in the airbnb apartments, run by my GP and just above his office, but he doesn't work on Sundays), but they said I should just leave her be and she'd be ok. Then off they went. The buggers.

So I told her I'd come right back, but she said she'd already left. It was a bit of a panic for me...that girl is more of a flighty arabian horse, than a plodding draft horse.

In the end, it turns out that she called an old school friend who lives in the area and had her take them to the hospital, in the next town over. The friend pulled some strings, or had a boyfriend there, or something (that wasn't too clear), and she got a prescription for something to calm her down, a quiet chat, and advice on how to best deal with all of this. Afterwards, the two girls went up to the tower that Kalani jumped off of (they knew about the crime-scene sillouette), lay down on the grass, enjoyed the sunshine, and admired the really great view over the town, the Pyrenees, and almost all the way to the coast.

Whew! She was pretty much fine, after that.

Brother number two showed up, late sunday. He looks like death warmed over (yeah, I know, bad time for a joke), or the grim reaper, what with that hoodie and that pale and skinny face of his. He has us all worried. My ex-husband, his dad, offered to pay for his voyage (he's working far away, in the Alps), but he came in a fancy 4x4 pick-up, which his boss loaned him. We barely saw him, as he either slept or was out who-knows-where. We're all worried about him, but he calls and texts and messages all of us (including Gramma), so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm not sure I could get through another funeral, even if his dad would have to be in charge of his, should it happen.

It was really cool to see my brother, and I didn't, as feared, fall to bits when I saw him. His advice, on leaving, was to quit being like our mom and leave the kids alone a bit more, lol.

The eldest brought his girlfriend, and it was really nice to get to know her better, and to watch the two of them interact.

All of them went to the cremation on Monday morning. Except me. I'd said my goodbyes and shit at the morgue, and I certainly did not want to either go see a coffin or watch it in flames on a screen. I'd told the kids about how it would go, so they were mostly ok, except for when the coffin went and the oven doors clanked open and the whoosh of the flames started...which the lady at the funeral parlour didn't warn me about. I don't think I could've handled that, and I now understand why the coffin goes behind closed doors and you see the rest on a screen...there have probably been people trying to get through the hole the coffin goes through and go with it, a la Indian funeral pyre. I get it, now.

Keoni, my eldest, invited the three boys who had passed Kalani's van by the tower. The one that didn't want to stop that afternoon, and the gwo that stopped that evening and found him. Poor kids, they're having a bad time. I saw them later in the day, at the memorial service, and they all said that they feel so bad, because maybe if they'd stopped that afternoon, they might've been able to save him...so I simply said (fingers crossed behind my back), that I'd read the autopsy report, and that the examiners knew their job and could pretty much tell at what time Kalani had died, by the state of the body, the temperature, rigor mortis, etc....and that they were not to think it was anything to do with them, as he'd jumped either late the night before, or very early in the morning; nothing to do with them, they couldn't have stopped him.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post



4923 Tard Points

God

posted Hide Post
Thanks Susie and you hang in there.
 
Posts: 52631 | Registered: October 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
Monday evening, there was the fete, or celebration of life, or hommage, or whatever you want to call it.

It was good. Way over a hundred people, including his teachers, rugby clubs, schoolmates, friends, the mayor, thomas' family, the local priest, the emergency services team, neighbors, and lots more I had never seen before.

The journalist from La Republique newspaper came, too. She brought a photographer.

The rugby club put on a table with wine, juice, soda, cake, crackers, etc.. The town hall had made posters of Kalani and Thomas, there was music, pictures of the boys. I'd brought a basket of kleenex packages, in case of tears (there were some tears, but I gave out those kleenex packs along with kisses ans smile). We were determined to not have a sad and somber event, and it worked.

Then Claude-the-Mayor called up my family and Thomas' to the podium, where he took the mic and gave a very nice speech...all positive and with Victor Hugo quotes and (lol) a Hawaiian poem. Then the pretty cool new town Priest said a few things, none of them Catholic-ish, and then I asked to speak (my daughter later told me that at that point, she and Keoni cringed and backed away a bit)(My second son couldn't bring himself to show up...or maybe he was afraid a few of his old enemies might be there and try to kill him).

I just know that the mayor and the rugby club president and my kids thought I'd go and talk too much, haha. I was bad before all of this, and now even I get sick of me not shutting up.

But I simply thanked everyone for their kind words, gestes, texts, and messages. Then I said that we could cry all the tears in the world, but it wouldn't bring our kids back...but...but..we were here together to share stories, memories, souveniers, anecdotes, and by doing so, perhaps the boys could live forever in our hearts that way. I also did my political bit, and said my bit about that bi-polar and friends; depression and schizophrenia, needed to come out of the closet and out from under the shadows. These illnesses need to be accepted by the sufferers, their families, their friends, their communities, so that the people who have this can not feel isolated, ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid, so that they might be able to not hesitate to get help. Of so that others could understand and be there to help, too. We need to work together for this to happen. We also need to stop the suicides and the copycat suicides.

It was good. I'm happy with what I said. Lol, my kids are, too...Keoni told me that he really thought I'd embarrass them, but it was actually pretty good. Nice, it's just sad that it took a death plus almost 27 years to get that kid's approval, lol.

I
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Nikoli Krushev:
Thanks Susie and you hang in there.

Well, I was ok until today.
I mean, the zombie was wearing off and emotions, questions, regrets, and all that were starting to flow in. Like...did I kill that kid by not saying the right thing, or missing something, or... coulda, woulda, shouda? All classic, I realize (and GP Jean Francois affirms.
Kalani wasn't in crisis mode, when he died. A bit wobbly, yeah, but suicide was totally unexpected at this point.

But I felt ok. Walk the dogs, remember to eat, keep appointments, don't lock myself inside (GP orders).

I went out to the local farmers' market and walked around.

And was told the La Republique had published an article about Monday's event, what I said, what the Mayor said, and a picture of me (wish they'd cut out the saggy chin and edited the moustache, but what the hell. I look pretty sad, even to me). They'd also interviewed the psychiatrist in charge of emergency admissions at the CHP (cente hopitalier psychiatrique), in Pau, where Kalani stayed for four months, almost two years ago, the time he turned into a kind of hippie-on-LSD-peaceandlove-reincarnation-stars-sunshine. That was back when he first thought he could fly, which is probably why he chose to jump off of that high tower, in the end.

Yeah, but I was still ok. Even though some of Kalani's friends had been telling me about the recent things he'd been doing...getting friends to jump off of walls and tanks with him, getting them to race two cars side-by-side while jumped from car to car, climbing up on a huge carrot harvesting machine to take a video of it in action (little ass got himself fired for that one, and the got into more trouble for going back to punch the giy that told on him). We're all very lucky that he didn't implicate any of his buddies in his death or in any accident.

Even that, I'm managing to deal with. Sort of. I guess. There have been a few times, though, when I've thought I might kill him all over again, if I ever see him in another life, the little bugger!
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
4923 Tard Points

God

posted Hide Post
Thanks Susie. I wish you the best in the future.
 
Posts: 52631 | Registered: October 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
Well....it seems that there might've been someone pushing Kalani along, almost coercing him to kill himself. And sell everything he owned. Stop his car insurance. Get himself ready to die.
Seems someone took control of him, the sunday before he jumped. Four hours of tearful and emotional and who knows what else of phone calls.
Now she's feeling around to see where the police inquest is going.
Says she's studying bi-polar and wants to be an expert on it.

I feel sick.
This feels unreal.
She must've caught him during a perfect storm.
I'm not sure, yet, what to do.
Or think.
Or feel.
At this point, an ordinary bi-polar suicide sounds good enough to live with.
But not this.
Oh, fuck.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Helel ben Shaḥar
posted Hide Post
Susie, I understand your question. My previous wife suicided when faced with two years in jail over a DUI and possession of durgs charge. I wondered if I could have done something to stop her. I couldn't have. The decision was entirely in her hands. You arefacing survivor's guilt. It is normal. You have to accept that you could not have stopped him, nor did you cause him to kill himself. It's hard but in time you will probably see this is true. Be strong, if not for yourself, then for the rest of your family. It will help you until you've grown a callous on the raw spot.

I hope this helps. If not, please forgive me for being too forward. If I can help, as a survivor too, feel free to pm me.

ETA I just read your final post. Fuck! There is a place in hell for people who play with other people's weaknesses.


"Bigly!"

The member formerly known as Libertarian
 
Posts: 6160 | Location: SouthCentral Texas | Registered: August 02, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
It does help, Helel, thanks.
My GP says the same thing, and I realized from the start that these are classic symptoms.
The other classic symptoms are showing up, too, for me and the kids (remaining kids? What's the wording I'm supposed to use on this?). Worn out, no energy, sleeping much more easily than the past few weeks. And no longer zombies, with emotions beginning to seep back in. We all are feeling it.
Personally, I'd rather stay a zombie.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Helel ben Shaḥar
posted Hide Post
I went through nearly everything you just told me you're going through. It does get easier. As to the "remaining kids"... They're just "the kuds". The same kids you loved and cherished before Kalani made his decision. They still need you. Even the tired, broken you. You're mom. They love you and you love them (even if sometimes you want to beat them, you still want to hug them.)

The only hope I can hold out for you is this: every day you wake up and live is one more day you pput behind you and allow this rawb gapping would to heal and scar over. You'll never forget him and there will always be a sore spot in your heart, but you will stop hurting so overwhelmingly. Maybe one day you will examine the scar and be able smile in over Kalani's happy memories. I hope so.


"Bigly!"

The member formerly known as Libertarian
 
Posts: 6160 | Location: SouthCentral Texas | Registered: August 02, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
http://www.larepubliquedespyre...-maladie,2272171.php

This is the article that the journalist wrote, plus there's another on the shrink in charge of the psyche hospital emergency room.
This was because the paper just said, when kalani was found...dead young man, probable suicide, jumped off of a telephone relay tower, was in with the rugby club.

I thought it was shitty reporting and that they needed some background, as well as some human bits, so I wrote to them.

The journalist wrote back, and then phoned and apologized. I was up on my soapbox, and so she asked if I'd like to do an article, so I invited her to come to the fete we were having to celebrate kalani's life (claude-the-mayor asked that we include thomas, of course).

You have to pay to see the full piece, so they've been snapped and posted on my facebook page, if you want more (I'm not sure how to translate from pictures, though).
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
1000 tard points for ignoring any and all advice
posted Hide Post
Ok, I've had enough of this death shit...four funerals in less than ten days is too much, already!

First kalani, followed by thomas, then yesterday freddy-the-dentist's-wife, an this morning is was tony, a perpetually grumpy friend.

Yesterday, when the priest saw me at vero's funeral, he said ' not you, again! And today was in a different church, but with the same funeral home business...and the funeral director gave me the french double-cheek kiss as he was unloading the coffin from the hearse, before taking it into the church.

What am I, the angel of death or something?!
I do not want to be so so very familiar to the people involved in our local death industry.
I'm getting good at this, but enough is enough.
 
Posts: 16844 | Location: France | Registered: December 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post



  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 ... 103 104 105 106 107 108 109  
 

Uncle Bob's World Famous Fora    Uncle Bob's    Uncle Bob's  Hop To Forum Categories  Community Forums  Hop To Forums  Time Out!    So if a heavy chain-smoker (one that rips the filters off of cigarettes) finally starts coughing and can't stop....

© Copyright 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010,2011,2012, MMX™ to Infinity. All material posted at Uncle Bob's World Famous Fora is protected under the Fair Use and Educational Purposes Act of 1869 and is regulated by the sovereign nation of Unclebobistan. If you post anything here, it will probably be copied and pasted all over the Inter web and people will laugh at you. So what else is new? Your friends and family are already laughing at you. The fair use of a copyrighted work for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, parody or research may be posted at Uncle Bob's.

Uncle Bob's would like to apologize to the following people or groups of people who we undoubtedly have offended over the course of the past few years. If you feel you have been personally offended then take this apology to be specifically for you. Otherwise, we apologize to Jewish Mexicans, President Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm a.k.a. Hopey McChangey, Catholic Priests who dork little boys, vegetarians, Fruit Loop, Atkins' Diet adherents and other fat-asses, Dennis J. Olson, Delta Lady, Joe and his Socks, paranoid persona's, space aliens, Illegal Aliens, Boy Scouts, same sex aficionados, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Canadians, ditch diggers, people who support the aforementioned, people on Prozac, Mel Gibson, Nazi Mods, Tiger Woods, motorcycle gang members, rag heads or towel heads or any other Middle Eastern personas or personae, Crotch Bombers, Britney Spears, the blind, the entire Gay and Lesbian community, Charlie Sheen, Black Panthers, NAACP, and anybody who has ever been called Lard Ass.